why is life like this?

After the rain comes sunshine right? why issit that for me now, i see no sun shining? i still see grey or black? Im so tired...i asked my mom this morning during a morning walk, whether i can disappear or leave this world now? i really wish for it to happen....anyway enough of this stupid emo stuff but heres what happened to me this whole damn week...

1.from last sat to just last tuesday.ive been sick
2.had mock exams the whole week
3.tired
4.sick
5.lost weight
6.not talking to dad
7.broke up with wilbert forever(hes not the one)
8.miss my friends terribly
9.find christians wierd
10.my own life feels fucked up
11.find myself fucked up

what should i do...

i feel stupid..sad..n aiyo..dunno la..

a guy my friend sent me a sweet wrting that day bout being best friends...i felt so touched..than after that(cutting short) he just started askin me out when before he never really did..wed was movies n than today was his house...n both days i did not make it..he always asked at the wrong time ...sigh..n i thought somehow even my friends said there was a possibility he likes me but he has someone..so now i dunno what to do...but all i know is to forget all this n make it go back to norm..that than i won be hurt...la..FUCK IT!!

unforgettable

im stupid
im blind
but i love you still...
no matter how i try to forget
and convince..you still stay
forever and now etched in my memory
what should i do??
love sucks...i never wanna love again!
its just too painful..i cant love till your out
of me life forever!than shall i dare..
but for now..im trying to help myself to ask you
to FUCK OFF!!!

today

haha..today there really was no school n damn was i tired...so went to school thinkin there were lessons in e end only bio was in active...tired.......lame....todays not bad though...kat came over n ate pizza and i scared her with cris angel..haha..than later went to bathe n change to meet Ira and kat helped me with make-up thanks sweets...than laterwent out with Ira to lot 1...each bought an anklet..hee...had dinner talked crap my poor dear..misses her ex...sigh..wish i was in love...

re

i miss YOU!!!!KIYO!!!!mina wa....i miss you...sobz...I WANNA GO HOME!!! someone pls put me out of my misery...please...tell me its real tell me im me...help me go home...please...

WOOTS

WOOTS PEOPLE!! CNY'S JUST OVER! damn..it was soo relaxing and fun and i just cannot remember why..oh oh...meetin my dear cousins and my dear cousin brothers and sisters...an my baby cousin and baby nephews...they are soo cute!!!haha..tday sadly,its back to damn school...lessons for history was soo damn boring as usual...all i did wat talk to tabi...that made it more bearable..and guess what?? haha...miss bossy is bein hated more and more...im not gloatin nor am i over sad...maybe a pervertic way im happy..haha well she after all insulted me...n kat..so..that cannot be left out right?? and oh..today i surprised 2 jap guys by speakin jap n unknowingly,insulted some malay guys which i did not mean to...seriously...i also insulted the jap guys. i mean come on they were standing at a so damn narrow walkway somewhere in singapore and people had to either push them or what to walk through so there was when i surprised them by sayin a simple"sumimasen" and than followe by "Bakas"!! haha...hilarious..i almost said baka no otokonohitos..i think by than i would have been hit or something..haha...but the best was that i was with dira!! thats the best!! anyway tonight sucked..mom came home in a huff and did not eat the dinner i prepared for her at all..n i got angry than the enxt thing is..shes crying...now shes angry wth me i dunno what i did...arrgghh!!!enough is enough!! i am done understanding her..forget it....tmr another tiring day..at least i'll be able to see my friends...thats comfortin at least...

love or yearning??

hi guys..today im sooo damn beat..but today after school 2 friends n i went mad over nothing..haha..it was hilarious...guys...hw...im still haunted by the image of him in my mind...shucks..ah...fuck that shit.! i cant be bothered..but i miss him....i miss him starin at me..i miss his hated looks at me....sobz..